Alrighty so a lot has happened since my last journal entry. Two days after I posted it, I got engaged. Everyone was shocked because I never wanted to get married and I always said that IF I did then it wouldn't be before I was 30. He wanted to get married before he was 30 and he's three years older then I am. So we compromised on 25/28. The date was set for January 14th 2012, mostly because it was going to be our sixth anniversary and a saturday.

We/I had a lot planned even though it wasn't for another 2.5-3 years. Against my own desires, we agreed on a big wedding. I don't understand why people want big weddings unless they had a lot of money.

Anyway, to get to the point, I called off the wedding about seven months later after all the glamour and novelty of engagement had worn off. I realised that I never had any desire to actually ever be married. In actual fact, I was thinking of leaving him. I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life, particularly the town we live in. There was a part of me that wanted to just pick up and go move to a bigger city. My depression and anxiety were getting worse as well and I was in a very low state. Mostly that was due to the fact that I wanted to come off my meds and was stepping down the dosage. I was at the lower dose for about a month and a half and couldn't handle it anymore. As much as I hate being on medication, it does help me keep from crashing down all the damn time.

Well he and I are still together and I can't say that I'm happy because I don't think I can or ever will be happy, though there are quick moments, but things are a lot better between us. Also, we bought a new car in July (a 2010 Fusion Hybrid) and I freaking love it.

My work situation is sort of strange. As much as I like doing hair and pedicures, it's getting very difficult to work where I do. I'm thinking of going back to school and doing medical transcription which would be sweet.

Final note, I submitted new stuff OMG!! The pictures with darker shorter hair and polka dot earrings are older then the others of me.

Well now that I've updated all of the people who read my journal (not), I best be off.

Ciao